Life Before Death: What I learned from a Friend that Died too Soon.

On 28th June 2018, I woke up like usual. I opened my eyes, stretched my stiff body, grateful for a new day, took a shower, and went to work.

It was a normal sunny day, except for one thing.

At 11 am, I got very shocking news: a good friend of mine, Marc Soonthornswad has passed away. He did not resign (like what I thought the first time I heard the news). This time, his Slack status will be away forever.

It was very shocking news for me because my last conversation with him was just on 27th June, at 2.33 pm and he passed away on that night due to heart failure.

A short bio about Marc; he’s a tall, manly guy with tattoos and muscles. He works at Traveloka as a design researcher and product copywriter and has been a great partner for me in the Thailand office.

Some people might relate tattoos and muscle as something negative; dark, fighter, nightlife, playboy, anger, mafia, etc.

But Marc is someone with tattoos and muscles that was truly the opposite. He’s funny, thoughtful, and a very positive guy. I never saw him got mad. He volunteered to be an English teacher and a very good chef (he introduced me to the sous cooking method which was mind-blowing.

In the office, I’ve always asked his help to do a lot of things; from user testing, translate mystical and complicated Thais language, get an insight about local behavior, to even just joking around and talked about life (both of us are the only son in the family. So ya, there were lots of things to talk about).

He’s been a good co-worker, great friend, perfectly informed tour guide, and a super nice big brother for me.

Since I couldn’t bring myself to wrote my message for his family, to commemorate him, I’ll share a tiny fraction about Marc’s life before death that has been an inspiration for me (which I hope can be an inspiration for you as well).

Always be a blessing for everyone

Marc has always been a blessing for everyone in many ways. But at least, there are 2 points I would like to highlight in this post: his sincere connection and being Ontoku (おんとく).

Sincere connection

When you’re with Marc, you will never get bored because he always came up with interesting stories. Drunk stories, new knowledge, and a lot of interesting experiences from his 30+ years' time on earth.

It’s not about his communication skill, but it’s more about his sincerity in making connections with people around him.

Some people speak to impress, to get attention, to be looked up to. But not Marc. From what I felt, he always tells stories from the bottom of his heart, purely to comfort the awkward situation and make people laugh.

Ontoku (おんとく) — good done in secret

No matter how difficult the job was, he always did his best. As I have shared before, he’s one of the people in the Thailand office that I always bothered. But, he always faced it with a smile and a “Yes, I will help and do my best” attitude despite he does not report directly to me.

I can relate Marc’s attitude with a term in Japanese called “Ontoku”, which means a “good done in secret”. He teaches me to always be good, to anyone, at any time, and no matter people see it or not.

Enjoy every little thing in life

Marc has always been a free-spirited person. He can literally laugh hardly at simple things. He eats a lot, exercises a lot, and travel a lot.

From him, I learn to enjoy present-life more and try not to overly concerns about my future. Rather than overthinking about uncertainty, he teaches me to live my life day by day.

To enjoy my losses when played ping pong, enjoy my mistakes in work, and enjoy my never-ending complicated work.

His life also reminds me of how to be happy. To be happy, we just need to smile at little things. Learn to smile at our mistakes. Pursue progress rather than perfection.

Be yourself

Marc is Marc. There was nothing he hides. He doesn’t care what people said about him. What’s important for him was him being kind to other people and nothing is more important than that.

Sometimes in life, we care too much about what people think about us.

Learn from Marc. Be kind and sincere. That’s enough.

For Marc

“Let’s live our life to the fullest everyday. Always be a blessing for anyone, at anytime, and love while we can. With these, no matter how short our live will be, I believe it will be a meaningful one.”

Life is a mystery.

Say things you want to say, while you can.

Love, while you can.

Do things that you want to do, while you can.

Live a life of no regret.

Thanks for all of the inspiration, Marc. It was a short, yet meaningful encounter. Thanks for always laughing at my lame jokes, and thanks for always lighting up the atmosphere.