Don’t Beat Yourself Up, Perfection is Just an Illusion
Up until three weeks ago, I put myself under pressure that I need to deliver a better result in work. I felt helpless with so many projects, and couldn’t bring any clarity. I was expecting myself to be better at work, but I felt like I made no progress. It reached a point where I was getting tired of work and wanting a very long break. I just want to disappear.
Trying to do better and spending more hours on laptop didn’t work for me. It just leads to more confusion.
So, what really happened?
The root cause
What’s interesting was, other people think that I’m already doing a good enough job and I’m on the right track. It was words from my colleagues: “You’re on the right track”, “You’re not worse than Him”, that eventually made me realize that most of my flaws were just my illusion. I (stupidly) beat myself up.
I realized that I felt miserable was because of my own expectation of perfection. I set the wrong expectation for myself.
The pursuit of excellence will consistently motivate you, but the pursuit of perfection will eventually limit you. — Craig Groeschel
I didn’t comfortable when things go wrong, I got impatient, and eventually lost direction and focus. This would be a really big problem when we manage a large team with too many variables that are out of our control.
Illusion of perfection
Perfection is abstract. It is affected by many different things.
Medium-firm noodle is perfect for me, but maybe not for you. I love black, but some people might feel that black is just too bland. Also when working in a fast-paced environment, things could go wrong very fast, and we can’t just control everything.
Perfection is also relative. It’s relative to time and our experience.
When we just bought a car, we feel like it’s just perfect. It’s shining, flawless, and works just fine. But after months of driving it, the color becomes dull. There are scratches, components got exhausted and need maintenance.
I came to the realization that pursuing perfection is just a stupid thing to do. It’s tiring to pursue, and it’s impossible to be perfect all time. There’s always imperfection in all things.
Focus on growth
Now we know as perfection is abstract and relative, pursuing perfection is just doesn’t make sense. So, what should we do?
What I did, rather than pursuing perfection, I pursue growth.
Try to be better every day, not to be right every day. Meditate on the mistakes, accept feedback as part of life, and room to grow. Realize that we can’t be right all time.
I liberated myself.
Conclusion
Living life doesn’t mean living to perfection. We need to be able to accept ours and other people's flaws. Something that I’m also constantly learning. Laugh at failures, learn from them, and celebrate progress.
Don’t beat yourself up.
